An extreme case of Disgust

I am disgusted by:

1. My hair which looks like a porcupines back
2. The way my shirt buttons keep popping open for no reason
3. My Forever New bag which is looking old and dirty
4. James Franco's inability to pronounce GUCCI, even though he is the brand ambassador
5. My need to spend more time with my farm on Farmville than with my room mates or friends.
6. My lack of creative prowess

Okay now that the whining part is done..on to the good stuff..I am just DISGUSTED..besides these superficial elements which I just described..I have another unexplainable gut feeling which keeps screaming DISGUSTING..

I woke up this morning with a feeling of belonging. That's probably because I slept with the same feeling. But as soon as I stepped out of my bed and my feet touched the ground, that sense of belonging transformed into a sense of DISGUST. I immediately looked over at my yoga mat, which I bought with so much pride and enthusiasm. Yeah so I use it once in a while to do what I pretend is yoga but in reality is just a bunch of weird poses. I try to do the Surya Namaskar without fail and I think I am mighty cool because I can do about 15 back to back without rolling over and dying. But then someone DISGUSTING told me about Kareena Kapoor doing 150 back to back. Talk about DISGUSTING. That's impossible right. She is not human. She is DISGUSTING.


You know what else is DISGUSTING that I forgot to mention up there. My constant need to lose weight but my inability to do so. Okay maybe I am not trying hard enough but I never had a skinny moment in my life. I don't really know what I am missing out on. Nope...no skinny girl stuck in a fat girls body here. There is just a fat girl. DISGUSTING.

DISGUST is such an ugly word to write and to say. I mean when you say it doesn't it literally feel like your going to vomit. Definitely DISGUSTING.

So there are pills for depression, nausea, early pregnancy termination, ear aches and even for increasing bowel movements. I mean come on...are you telling me there are no pills for DISGUST? Its a genuine problem that I have. How do I get rid of it. I can't eat DISGUST away because then I would be a glutton and that would be DISGUSTING. No I can't do that. The idea is to escape it...not embrace it.

Ugly Betty has gotten damn DISGUST-worthy. So here's a girl that supposedly represents the heavier set of women with not so glamorous looks out there. For the first three years she wears DISGUSTING clothes and then suddenly she transforms and starts straightening her hair and wears single shaded clothes instead of a vertical rainbow of DISGUSTING. hmm..not fair..nope..not only is it not fair..it's DISGUSTING. But then again I should have figured that it was all a farce considering she always gets out of her troubles and ends up fine in the end. BLAH. Ugly Betty's life is anything but Ugly. It's not even DISGUSTING. In real life assistants don't become Editors. In real life, people get fired from jobs they don't like. But dude you can't fire them. That's DISGUSTING. They have to quit jobs they don't like, not get fired. You know who you are. You are DISGUSTING.

So yes my life is full of DISGUST. And do you blame me. I live in a world where pigs fly..and you know what that means..yuck..DISGUSTING..the world is coming to an end...but oh wait we already knew that...So prepare for a big Gucci Tote bag worth of DISGUST...in Hell...either that or its about time to accept/embrace/hug DISGUST. It's not going anywhere.

Here I leave you with a few DISGUSTING words from a DISGUSTING (yet DOPE) rapper to help you through your DISGUST:

But sometimes the shit just seems,
Everybody only wants to discuss me
So this must mean I'm DISGUSTING,
But it's just me I'm just obscene
Though I'm not the first king of controversy
I am the worst thing since Elvis Presley,
To do Black music so selfishly
And use it to get myself wealthy.
There's a concept that works
20 million other white rappers emerge
But no matta how many fish in the sea
It'll be so empty without me