Monday, May 2, 2011

Osama & Obama: The Eternal Love Affair

I woke up today at 7 am, not because I love getting up early, but because someones dog wouldn't stop barking. I was not pleased to say the least. If a barking dog wasn't enough, I had to get to work early to give my radio peeps their daily dose of gossip. Yes after a sabbatical 'Rumor Has it' was back. Now here I am trying to find out all the goss on how much Kate's Alexander McQueen cost when these stupid pop ups keep saying Obama is going to make an announcement soon. What the heck did Obama have to do with me? So what if I lived in that country for 17 years, Obama didn't really matter to my rumor spreading.Or maybe he did. My mind was thinking of all the possibilities.Could he be making an even more hilarious statement about Donald Trump? Was he really not an American citizen? Its amazing what one headline can do to the average human beings brain. I wasn't even close.

The calender in my part of the world says that it's May 2nd, 2011. Over on the more econimically set and advanced part of the world though it's still May 1st. The day is mostly remembered for the day that Hitler was announced dead. Yes announced. He actually died the previous day. While I believe that things happen for a reason and all that jazz, I cant help but wonder about this next piece of expensive ad time news. O-S-A-M-A is dead. You might be wondering why I spelled it out that way. Its because I've been running around saying Obama is dead all day. I can't keep saying that. These are the kind of things that can get you killed. Literally. Now you may be wondering why I am spending my working hours writing about a topic that well I really have nothing to do with. Or do I?

I'll get into that later, but if the international media is anything to go by, then my opinion stands as follows. This is what's been happening and is also a surefire plan to avoid conspiracy theories (NOT!):
1)Shoot Osama bin Laden
2) Take clear photos as proof, that don't look like they've been Photo-shopped by my 12 year old brother.
3) In true Dexter style, dump his corpse in a water body and claim it was done in true Islamic fashion.

Hold up. Islamic fashion? I'm pretty sure they like to be buried 6 feet under the ground and not 20,000 leagues under the sea. Tell me blog-werts, how on Earth do you capture the worlds most wanted man and then...just dump him in the sea?

Call it good timing, mere co-incidence or a conspiracy theory, but I am anywhere but satisfied. Now I'm no military intelligence expert. Heck I don't claim to be intelligent at all. But here's the deal. I didn't spend 10 years of my life being subjected to "anti-extremist" measures to be told that the man responsible for my bags being checked at the airport was just thrown away like a candy wrapper. No. You have some explaining to do.

But who is going to explain this? Because from what I have seen (on the tv), Obama is clear that Osama was in fact killed just outside of a major Pakistani city. Fine. I'll leave the details to him. But how can he just be "removed" like this without any other explanation. I'm sorry but as much as I love Obama, he is not the worlds commander-in-chief.

I still get horrible images of families at ground zero holding pictures of their lost yet loved ones. I would never ever encourage such a heinous act. But then again, Osama wasnt the only one who was killed in this "war on terrorism". It's been a long road this search for Osama. I can only imagine how many more 'Talibanians' have been slaughtered in the making of the epic ending.

Indeed, the cost has been massive, in dollars and in lives. But from the very moment that first tower fell in NY, we all knew who would be writing the end of this story.The message was oh so clear: "Attack the USA and we'll attack you right back".

I in no way love or sympathize with extremists, fanatics and their kind. So don't even for a second think I am writing this to support "their cause". I don't support any cause unless it's freedom of speech and freedom of religion. But yes, I would appreciate some freedom from fear. So now that he's dead and gone like a JT and T.I. song, can we please get back to the days when Shagufta was a name synonymous with Kofta's and Goofy and not a terrorist.

Sorry for the slight deviation. I'm not done yet. Now here's something else that gets to me. There were weeks and months at a stretch that Obama did nothing. Then comes this past one week where he's had many tricks up his sleeve. First there were random reports that Al Qaeda's almost boss in Afghanistan was caught. Then that crazy Donald Trump started asking for attention and pissed off Obama by questioning his birth place. Then the very next day, out of the blue, Obama produced his birth certificate to the world. And now, he tells the world that Osama is dead. Is it just me or does anyone also think that it couldn't have been just to placate dear Donald? I don't know.

But here is what I do know. If 9/11 helped us get to know George W Bush a little better (even if against our own will), and got him re-elected, then Osama is Obama's claim to Nobel prize fame and we all know he wants to get re-elected too. Well I don't live in that country anymore and I won't be voting anytime soon. So yeah go ahead, bring out that snappy election campaign, Get Kanye and Jay to write you a song. But sometime, in the future, please do tell us what really went down. Oh and if you were looking for the perfect time to pull out of Afghanistan, now would be the time. My forefathers would really appreciate it. And for what its worth, I hope you get re-elected. But please, that last Nobel Prize you won was given too early to you. I know your love affair has come to an end, but who says you have to fall in love just once?

In the mean time, since life is just one big ol pop song in my world, will the real Dawood/Kasab/Gaddhafi please stand up? The Obama...err..world is looking for its new favorite villain.