A Victim of Character Assasination

Save me...for I have been victimized by ruthless mortals who have scarred me and branded me with everything but the scarlet letter. I am at no fault. I am innocent. I am a victim of character assassination.

I was not aware that one could die such a horrible death. Its worse than the kind where you are permanently ejected from this world. It is the kind where you are murdered and then told to stick around and face the aftermath.

29 years ago, on this day, John Lennon was assassinated by Mark David Chapman in front of his own house. Some might say that he was lucky enough to die in front of his own house, others might say that it was a tragedy that the world will never forget and will never let the generations to come forget. Right.

But Lennon like JFK, Rajiv Gandhi, Abraham Lincoln, Tupac, Martin Luther King, Malcolm X and Mahatma himself were of the luckier kind. This is not to say that their deaths went unnoticed or that it was fair for them to die, to be killed, to be stripped of the life that was meant to be lived for longer. They died. Doesn't matter how, where or under what circumstances, but they died. Just like that.

So yes maybe we can feel sorry for them because they were more or less young and had a full life ahead of them, but I can proudly claim that they are in a place where no one can harm them. I'm not specifying whether they are in heaven or in the lake of fire where all bad people go when they die. That's a whole other argument.

Granted that their deaths may have been painful and excruciating on themselves and the people around them. Assassinations are usually like that right. A public and prominent figure is killed without a fair warning, or so we think.

So that's an assassination, but what is character assassination or CharAss? does it only apply to eminent and prominent individuals? What about us lesser mortals who suffer at the hands of malicious gossip and slandering lies. What do we do? Who will listen to us or feel bad for us?

Unlike an assassination, CharAss does not happen only once to us. It is a recurring menace that never leaves. It happens to more or less everyone but some people just get the raw end of the deal. CharAss does not only apply to those douche bags who do wrong, feign ignorance to only come out and admit their wrong doing. Are you listening Bill, Chris, Tiger and Roman?

CharAss applies to you and me, people who are innocent till proven guilty. CharAss is fatal and painful. It tears us apart and is so potent that if consumed in large doses, can lead to hallucination and actual belief of the tale. Keep calling someone a terrorist, slut or murderer (even if not), that person may just start believing it. It's so easy to judge isn't it. In fact, it's frighteningly enjoyable and relieving. So as long as you are CharAssing someone else, you are out of the radar and safe from it. But not for long.

Women have been subjected to CharAss for the longest time. The Scarlet Letter. Heard of it? Well it's not a bitch, it''s definitely a bastard. Has to be male. I'm not a puritan and I don't encourage infidelity, but if you did it then you pay for it. But if you didn't do it then you shouldn't have to suffer because of it. And if you did it and everyone else is also doing it then it cant be a sin anymore. Whats wrong in searching for the pure moral blossom? I don't know if it exists.

Men have also been subjected to CharAss. Take OJ Simpson. The man is anything but innocent, but he was proven not guilty. He is guilty of beating up his wife and abusing her, but did he kill Nicole? Well the courts and jury members said no. I guess we will never really know. He is running Scot free. Good for him right? Wrong, because even though he was released from judicial custody almost a decade ago, he has died many deaths since, CharAss deaths that is. He has been branded with a capital M for Murder.

What about Michael Jackson? He died physically a few months ago after an alleged OD, but while he was alive he was CharAssed continuously. Why? Because he was supposedly a pedophile and obsessive and compulsive cosmetic surgery recipient. Oh snaps. He died before he Od'ed. We, the media, his frenemies, his rivals, his fans all led to his actual death. Maybe we helped put the poor guy out of his misery. But we are left here to deal with our own troubles and we don't care to think about his poor children who were probably just as tormented as he himself was.

In her 2007 hit song, "Piece of Me", Britney Spears talks about CharAss as best as she could. In a electro poppy take-me-seriously-because-i-am-serious song. She sings or lip syncs:

I'm Miss American Dream since I was 17
Don't matter if I step on the scene
Or sneak away to the Philippines
They're still gonna put pictures of my derriere in the magazine
You want a piece of me?

I'm Mrs. Lifestyles of the rich and famous
I'm Mrs. Oh my God that Britney's Shameless
I'm Mrs. Extra! Extra! this just in
I'm Mrs. she's too big now she's too thin
You want a piece of me

I'm Mrs. 'You want a piece of me?'
Tryin' and pissin' me off
Well get in line with the paparazzi
Who's flippin' me off
Hopin' I'll resort to some havoc
And end up settlin' in court
I'm Mrs. 'Most likely to get on the TV for strippin' on the streets'
When getting the groceries, no, for real..
Are you kidding me?

So did I really have to resort to using a Britney Spears song to talk about how pathetic we are, about how low we are, about how utterly and disgustingly heartless we are to go and talk smack about anyone and everyone, regardless of whether we know the person or not. Yes. I did need to use her as an example.

Why stop at her. What about my favourite feminist philosopher, Lady Gaga. Do you even know her real name? Well you ignorant karma chameleons, its Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, and yes she likes women and men, which makes her bisexual and not a hermaphrodite. And do you even blame her for liking women more than men. Are there even any men left after Clark Gable or John Wayne? No? Didn't think so.

And what about me? Your own dear precious ShagDaIntern. Have I been victim to the evil ways of the CharAssing public. Of course. What kind of celebutante would I be if I hadn't. I have been a slut, I have been a whore, I have been a cheater, I have been a stealer, I have been a liar, I have been a tease, I have been a bad person, I have been a bad friend, I have been uncouth, I have been a devil worshiper, I have been a fake, I have been a bad daughter, I have been an evil heartless bitch, I have done everything that Britney, Paris, Lindsay and Meghan have collectively been brandished for doing.

Forgive me "Father" for I have sinned. Now how far from the truth were the previous accusations. Well I leave it up to you to guess. It's not like you will believe me anyways right? Yeah. I didn't think so either. This is all coming from a girl who swears by Gossip Girl and loves Blaire Waldorf and Chuck Bass, two of the most disturbingly darkest yet realistic characters in our generation. Don't laugh. Gossip Girl deals with a lot of our own life's problems. Don't believe me? Then try watching it and tell me you don't relate to Chuck, Blaire, Serena, Dan, or Jenny at some freakin point. Go ahead. I dare you. No. I double dog dare you! You will relish the feeling and worship the ground they walk on. Because they are you and you are them.

So how do we deal with this CharAss? It's the classic tale of retribution. Karma is bad ass. It comes back to bite you where it hurts. So not only does the perpetrator have to deal with Karma's bad ass ways, it has CharAss to face as well. ::Sigh:: Revenge is sinfully pleasurable ain't it? I would know. The vicious cycle of Karma has bitten me on more than one occasion. Oops. Did I just reveal too much?

XOXO

S