Fat Girl with Skinny Jeans: The GM Diet

Fried Chicken. Fried chicken Fried Chicken. Deeeeep Fried Chicken.

This is all I could think about at approximately 8 pm last night. Of course I got my wish but the universe hates me so much that the guy gave me burnt-to-the crisp-chicken poppers and I wasn't in the mood to accept it like it was just Cajon cuisine. So I almost yelled at him on the phone and settled for eating the lentils and rice at home that my roomies so lovingly cooked. But I was still upset that I didn't get to eat some freakin fried chicken. Blame it on the chemical imbalances that so called woman hood brings. Anywho, so that was just last night and here I am on Day 1 of my GM diet. Guess I owe it to the guy who burned my chicken to get here. Now for those of you who don't know what the GM diet is, pat yourself on the back. You haven't Googled weight loss every single day of your internet filled years. On a serious note though it is a diet. Yes I am an internet diet freak (based on the number of internet searches I trigger). But that's where the buck stops. So I've tried the Lemon cleanse because Beyonce did it. I've tried the hunger diet because half the world does it, I've tried the SEE (not sea)-food diet and now it's time to try a diet that more or less incorporates all of those things. Before I get into my experience on Day 1, let me run you down on what the diet really is. Now I am assuming that if you are reading this then you know what the full form of GM is. The GENERAL MOTOR diet was actually created for the employees of General Motors, you know the giant car manufacturers. No I haven't quite my day job and switched into the automobile industry. I'm still shag da intern. But my incredible search engine skills led me to uncovering this diet. It supposedly helps you not only lose weight, but cleanse your system and helps improve your over all well being. JACK POT! Before you pass judgment, you are not me so you can't even begin to fathom what it means to lose weight. I am not promoting starvation, just as I am not promoting the slaying of animals for my gastronomical pleasure. I am simply exploring and trying to help my body feel better about it self. Take it from a fat girl.

Okay getting back to why I wanted to try this diet. The whole idea is you eat specific foods that help you burn more calories simply because your body uses more calories to digest them. It's a seven day thing and every day you follow a different guideline.

This is what the guinea pig (in this case me) has to stick to:

Day 1: Hog on all the fruits you can except the calorie ridden Banana

Day 2: Shove all the veggies you have never eaten in your life and make up for lost time. Start your morning by eating the biggest potato you can find (boiled)

Day 3: Eat all the fruits and veggies your stomach can take through out the day and as many as you can to keep you from fainting and grabbing the nearest Zebra to devour. Oh but you still can't eat bananas and no potatoes either.

Day 4: So all those days that you have been told to not eat bananas on this diet come to an end today. Today you only eat bananas and drink milk. I hope it tastes better then it sounds.

Day 5: Technically you are supposed to eat beef and tomatoes today. But since the thought of a dead cow in my stomach makes me want to hurl on the poor guy sitting next to me, I'll skip on the beef and eat some brown rice instead. Day 6: You're supposed to eat all the beef and veggies you can handle but I think I will stick to veggies and lentils. Day 7: Today its all about the brown rice, veggies and fruit juices. Doesn't sound so bad. Now let me remind you again I am only on the first day of this thing. It's about 5 in the afternoon and I'm doing pretty good so far. I've eaten 2 apples, 2 oranges, 2 plums and 1 pear. By the end of the day I should chow down on 1 more apple, 1 more orange, 1 more pear and a bowl full of watermelon. Now I barely have the time to blog on normal days and this week is no exception. However because I want to finish this diet without failing, I am going to seal the deal on the internet. So I started today and I should have a blog by next Monday to document the success/failure of this whole adventure. That makes the blog world my witness. The best thing about this diet is that you are supposed to eat as much as you want and if you're feeling hungry, you're doing it wrong. That makes me feel a whole lot better. Oh yeah I'm supposed to drink litres and litres of water and abstain from alcohol. I think this will be a cinch. On that notes, wish me good luck and no Zebra cravings!