No not like Eminem says..This is so not about losing my mind..losing one's mind is relatively easy when compared to what me and millions of others around the world want to lose. If you still haven't figured it out yet, I am talking about the F word. FAT.
Yuck. It made you cringe didn't it. FAT FAT FAT FAT. Admit it. You despise fat. Whether you have it on your body or see it on people around you.
I mean literally speaking it is the most comfortable thing in the world. Its' squishy and soft. But face it. It's not your best friend. But some people (cough cough: ME) are so comfortable with their FAT. It's the only thing they have had their entire life. Something that is completely theirs. Of their own doing. And now you want to take it away from us. No that's not right. If anyone is taking my FAT away from me it's me. Not you or anyone else. FAT or not FAT.
So no matter how comfortable you are in your FATness, there is no excuse for being so. There is no excuse for being FATter than all your best friends. There is no excuse for being FATter than all your crushes who till this date you wonder why they didn't feel the same way about you. There is no excuse for weighing as much or just a little less than your boyfriend. There is no excuse for calling yourself healthy or voluptuous when in reality you are just FAT.
Sorry to be so harsh. Take it from a FAT girl. It ain't the best place to be. I need to get out of my comfortable place in the FATosphere. But I really don't know where else I want to be. FAT is what I have known my whole life. I have never met skinny. What if skinny doesn't like me?
Sure we all need FAT. It's an essential requirement for our functionality. But how much of it is too much? There are FAT calculators which tell you how much FAT is right to have for your age and height. Well I'm only 24 years old and yes I am FAT. That we already knew.
Since 2010 has started I have been on this whole trip about losing weight. It's gone to the extent that people have started calling me 'obsessed'. Yes. I am obsessed. The good thing about obsession in this case is that I am really working hard to get a hold of my obsession and turn this obsession into something I don't just lust after, but have.
Weight loss isn't easy. It's a lot of dedication and hard work. Yeah so there are those people who breathe air and lose weight. Then there are those people who don't even breathe air and just gain weight. I am part of the second group of people. The people who have been told that they are FAT their whole life. The group of people who are told to lose weight but not told how to lose weight. The people who are told that they are cute FAT, but FAT none-the-less.
So I have lasted like this 24 years of my life. Living on the idea that I am not fugly. That I have people that love me for me. I don't shop at the 'Big N Tall' yet. YET! No I can't afford to get there. I cannot get FATTter than this. No way. The FAT stops here.
It has for the past 2 months. I made a resolution and so far have stuck by it. Give or take a few candy bars, extra servings of rice, mid night ice cream cravings and the occasional KFC stops. ::Sigh::. Not eating is not an option. Never thought joining the gym would be either. But it has been one of my biggest aids. Yes you can quote me on that.
Okay so that's normal right. I go to the gym 5-6 days a week and spend an hour on average working on my fitness. I watch what I eat. Should be good enough right? Apparently not. I don't know what happens to me but I suddenly get the urge to burn even more calories. I am obsessed with my weight. Everyday I check the scale and if I have lost even a few grams I start rejoicing. But goodness forbid I gain even one gram I will do anything to burn them off. You name it I have tried. Pilates, Taebo, Yoga.
I have watched hundreds of you tube videos. I have surfed every website there is on weight loss. Even one called www.howcelebritiesloseweight.com. So I know what everyone from Anne Hathaway to Britney Spears do to lose weight. But the weirdest thing I came across was what Fergie does. She drinks vinegar shots. Yeah you read right. It apparently curbs your hunger and burns FAT. It sounds disgusting but it burns the F word. Haven't tried it yet but don't be surprised if sometime in the future I invite you to my house and offer you some vinegar shots. I'm just sayin....
There is no easy way to weight loss. It shouldn't be about how good you look. It matters but it isn't everything. It's about how it makes you feel. I totally look forward to waking up at seven every morning and starting my new found drive for good health.
It's not about being anorexic. Absolutely not. It's about not being obese. I don't think we realize just how serious being FAT is. More people die every year from obesity then anorexia. So help your FAT friends. Don't let them get to obese. Let your loved ones be healthy without not eating or throwing up whatever they eat. There is a way for all of us. Believe the once-upon-a-time-non believer. Don't aim for the size zero. Or size 2 or 4 for that matter. Aim at being healthy. Aim at loving your healthy body and self. It sounds so disgustingly sweet and fake doesn't it. Well it's not. It's acceptance. Accept that you are not supposed to be over weight. Also accept that you might never be a size 2. Acceptance is what we all need. Not defeat or lack of will power.
The verdict? So 2 months of dieting, watching what I eat, researching, gymming, yoga-ing, burning, eating and obsessing later I am a whole 6 kgs lighter. That's about 13.5 pounds. I'm getting there. Still hoping to lose ten more kgs. Not impossible right? Totally right.
So to all those people who knew I would, who thought I would never, thought I didn't need to, think I need to. Well I am. So that's that.
Til I completely lose it there are more articles to read, more exercises and wacky diet tips to try, more people to get inspired by. The idea is to lose, not gain in the process. So far so good.
I'll be sad. I might not even recognize myself after this. It will take getting used to. There will be tears and beads of sweat along the way. I will miss some clothes and fit in new ones. It's hard. But. Just lose it.
PS- And while your contemplating doing it or helping someone do it. Drop by this site and smile. It totally made me smile. Some of the things that FAT girls have to say is hilarious and totally inspiring...
Here's to not using the F word anymore.
http://www.formerfatgirl.com/
.jpg)
If I was a fat girl, you would be my hero. Screw that. I'm not a fat girl but your still my hero.
ReplyDeleteI feel quite motivated myself to get rid of all that has defined me all these years. But just a word of caution: too much of anything is bad. Try to become fit because that is what counts in the long run. If being fit needs you to lose weight then you have to. So focus fitness!
ReplyDeleteExhausting! I think you must have lost some more weight writing this.
ReplyDelete- N
wow. 6 kilos? congrats. now maintain it :)
ReplyDeleteFirst thing..
ReplyDeleteYou mention all the things that you did. But you forget that this is supposed to take time.
Been in a few fitness programs in a former life, and the time you should really take stock (no pun intended) is 16 weeks. Every 16 weeks. That's how long it takes.
A couple of stupid tips that you might know but will still share-
Early Dinner, preferably nothing after 8:30.
That glass of warm water and nimboo in the morning.
And Eat well.
And you are super cute the way you are. Will miss you the way you were.
Yes..I have to maintain it..and yes..it does take time to reach your weight loss goals..and every day is a struggle..but I will get there..I am constantly motivated and inspired..at this point ain't nuthing gonna stop me..
ReplyDeleteI occasionally look out for new posts on your blog, i love the way you whine.
ReplyDeleteBeing tiny and thin I have never had to juggle the weight issue until very recently...Most people think you(the universal)are fat because you eat. But what is that makes you eat???
I never gave it much thinking until a few months ago I put on three kilos in three months. I am a poor eater, a vegetarian,a heavy smoker who runs even when it snows. But then I started having these pangs at odd hours for fries and chips and candies, and I couldn't do anything about it. I realised it wasn't me but my hormones from the pills I was taking. I was bloating, had creases on my face in the morning, I felt cheated by my gynec, who spoke at length about smoking and pills and no pimples but nothing about the pounds I'd again.(I always had a clue, but 3kgs in 3 months on me is a lot) It took me two months to lose a kilo and not because that extra weight made me look fat, but it was ideally not meant to happen. The reason why I'm telling you this, I never in my life worried about my weight but losing a few kilos is the hardest thing I've ever done. We all have this ideal number in our head, fat or thin, keep it still is just not easy. So bon courage