Just Lose It

ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh...

No not like Eminem says..This is so not about losing my mind..losing one's mind is relatively easy when compared to what me and millions of others around the world want to lose. If you still haven't figured it out yet, I am talking about the F word. FAT.

Yuck. It made you cringe didn't it. FAT FAT FAT FAT. Admit it. You despise fat. Whether you have it on your body or see it on people around you.

I mean literally speaking it is the most comfortable thing in the world. Its' squishy and soft. But face it. It's not your best friend. But some people (cough cough: ME) are so comfortable with their FAT. It's the only thing they have had their entire life. Something that is completely theirs. Of their own doing. And now you want to take it away from us. No that's not right. If anyone is taking my FAT away from me it's me. Not you or anyone else. FAT or not FAT.

So no matter how comfortable you are in your FATness, there is no excuse for being so. There is no excuse for being FATter than all your best friends. There is no excuse for being FATter than all your crushes who till this date you wonder why they didn't feel the same way about you. There is no excuse for weighing as much or just a little less than your boyfriend. There is no excuse for calling yourself healthy or voluptuous when in reality you are just FAT.

Sorry to be so harsh. Take it from a FAT girl. It ain't the best place to be. I need to get out of my comfortable place in the FATosphere. But I really don't know where else I want to be. FAT is what I have known my whole life. I have never met skinny. What if skinny doesn't like me?

Sure we all need FAT. It's an essential requirement for our functionality. But how much of it is too much? There are FAT calculators which tell you how much FAT is right to have for your age and height. Well I'm only 24 years old and yes I am FAT. That we already knew.

Since 2010 has started I have been on this whole trip about losing weight. It's gone to the extent that people have started calling me 'obsessed'. Yes. I am obsessed. The good thing about obsession in this case is that I am really working hard to get a hold of my obsession and turn this obsession into something I don't just lust after, but have.

Weight loss isn't easy. It's a lot of dedication and hard work. Yeah so there are those people who breathe air and lose weight. Then there are those people who don't even breathe air and just gain weight. I am part of the second group of people. The people who have been told that they are FAT their whole life. The group of people who are told to lose weight but not told how to lose weight. The people who are told that they are cute FAT, but FAT none-the-less.

So I have lasted like this 24 years of my life. Living on the idea that I am not fugly. That I have people that love me for me. I don't shop at the 'Big N Tall' yet. YET! No I can't afford to get there. I cannot get FATTter than this. No way. The FAT stops here.

It has for the past 2 months. I made a resolution and so far have stuck by it. Give or take a few candy bars, extra servings of rice, mid night ice cream cravings and the occasional KFC stops. ::Sigh::. Not eating is not an option. Never thought joining the gym would be either. But it has been one of my biggest aids. Yes you can quote me on that.

Okay so that's normal right. I go to the gym 5-6 days a week and spend an hour on average working on my fitness. I watch what I eat. Should be good enough right? Apparently not. I don't know what happens to me but I suddenly get the urge to burn even more calories. I am obsessed with my weight. Everyday I check the scale and if I have lost even a few grams I start rejoicing. But goodness forbid I gain even one gram I will do anything to burn them off. You name it I have tried. Pilates, Taebo, Yoga.

I have watched hundreds of you tube videos. I have surfed every website there is on weight loss. Even one called www.howcelebritiesloseweight.com. So I know what everyone from Anne Hathaway to Britney Spears do to lose weight. But the weirdest thing I came across was what Fergie does. She drinks vinegar shots. Yeah you read right. It apparently curbs your hunger and burns FAT. It sounds disgusting but it burns the F word. Haven't tried it yet but don't be surprised if sometime in the future I invite you to my house and offer you some vinegar shots. I'm just sayin....

There is no easy way to weight loss. It shouldn't be about how good you look. It matters but it isn't everything. It's about how it makes you feel. I totally look forward to waking up at seven every morning and starting my new found drive for good health.

It's not about being anorexic. Absolutely not. It's about not being obese. I don't think we realize just how serious being FAT is. More people die every year from obesity then anorexia. So help your FAT friends. Don't let them get to obese. Let your loved ones be healthy without not eating or throwing up whatever they eat. There is a way for all of us. Believe the once-upon-a-time-non believer. Don't aim for the size zero. Or size 2 or 4 for that matter. Aim at being healthy. Aim at loving your healthy body and self. It sounds so disgustingly sweet and fake doesn't it. Well it's not. It's acceptance. Accept that you are not supposed to be over weight. Also accept that you might never be a size 2. Acceptance is what we all need. Not defeat or lack of will power.

The verdict? So 2 months of dieting, watching what I eat, researching, gymming, yoga-ing, burning, eating and obsessing later I am a whole 6 kgs lighter. That's about 13.5 pounds. I'm getting there. Still hoping to lose ten more kgs. Not impossible right? Totally right.

So to all those people who knew I would, who thought I would never, thought I didn't need to, think I need to. Well I am. So that's that.

Til I completely lose it there are more articles to read, more exercises and wacky diet tips to try, more people to get inspired by. The idea is to lose, not gain in the process. So far so good.

I'll be sad. I might not even recognize myself after this. It will take getting used to. There will be tears and beads of sweat along the way. I will miss some clothes and fit in new ones. It's hard. But. Just lose it.

PS- And while your contemplating doing it or helping someone do it. Drop by this site and smile. It totally made me smile. Some of the things that FAT girls have to say is hilarious and totally inspiring...

Here's to not using the F word anymore.

http://www.formerfatgirl.com/

Full of Red Bull

So..I'm not much of a drinker anymore...

Okay who am i fooling..I hate alcohol and fuzzy energy drinks..don't get me wrong I love soft drinks but had to quit due to better judgment.

Today a red bull girl walked into Radio Indigo and asked me if I wanted a can Red Bull...Who was I to say no? I love free things..So I took it thinking I would give it to my colleague who had gone out for a meeting.

Well I did give it to her..but after drinking about 3/4 of it. Yeah seriously. I mean it was just sitting there next to my laptop and staring at me. It was open and asking me to drink it. And so I did. And now I have sudden bursts of energy and I am feeling restless..I am still sitting at work at 7:30 p.m... scary.. I don't even have any work...

So there is no point to this conversation. Or rather this blog post. Just channeling my energy in the best way I can. By Gabbing. Okay now I will leave and watch some episodes of "Mad Men" and react violently to everything that happens.

Siyonara.

WTF? The week that was...

WHAT THE FREAK?

My name is Ahmed...but I'm not a terrorist: Well I think that has more to do with who I am then my name. I mean what is in a name. I hate to say this but the KJo movie, "My Name is Khan", totally struck a chord. The movie had all the makings of thought provoking cinema with the trimmings of a quintessential Bollywood film. I just wish this film came out a few years ago. Seems kind of outdated now. But what they say in the movie..well its true. There are only two types of people in the world, good and bad. But how do you explain all these "good people" doing bad things in the name of the good? I say we are somewhere in the middle...more of gray in this world then black or white..Still can't believe I went for a SRK film, first day first show..

15 year old musical boy: Justin Bieber. He is so freaking young!!!...so besides the fact that he has many top 40 hits under his belt (5 to be exact), he is only 15...I mean he is 15 now, but when he was discovered on Youtube he was much younger. What the heck was I doing when I was 15? Daydreaming about my first love, but unlike Justin I never got the chance to sing about it and make millions swoon worldwide..::sigh:: oh well..there is always the next life. But seriously, how do you explain this sudden influx of young artists taking over the charts? So many yungns'...Well at least with him, the name Justin does a lot for me..if you know what I am saying..I might be just a lil bias... but dude I couldn't stop listening to him..don't make me start on Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift..

Food, sex and music: We love all three. But could Nostradamus in his deepest darkest prophecy ever guess that the three would create perfect harmony? Probably not. I mean for starters I really doubt they thought strawberries, chocolate and music by Maxwell was the perfect aphrodisiac-ish combination. Anyways, when did food, sex and music drive our ears. I mean all three bring us immense pleasure. In fact, Brain scanning experiments have found that music hits the same parts of the brain as food or sex does. Wow. Go figure. I think I found a new way for weight loss. Trick your brain with sex or music instead of food. Right on. But till then the song "Carry On" by Timbaland and Justin Timberlake is perfect...hot Justin...great tune..and sexy to say the least...and we all know that my body is better than carry out..okay sorry will control the modesty, or rather lack of it...

Attack of the unidentified object: No not a flying saucer or E.T., but a bag. A bag with so many explosives that it wiped out the entire bakery, killing 9 and injuring 45 in the process. So i frequented the place quite a bit. Ok so maybe the "happy" hippy type folk with robes from the Osho Ashram down the street weren't the most appealing. Neither were the random men that were deprived of non vegetarian food at the place who stared at us like we were a great chunk of meat. But the fact of the matter is that I liked the place. I like the strawberry in cream. The decently priced eggs and hashbrowns. The peanut butter slice. The yak cheese slice. I could go on. But more than the food it was the afternoons spent there with sooo many people. How the heck do you go and blow up such a lovely place, which is more than just a haven for foreigners looking for non greasy, non Indian food? Did you prove your point? YES. Did you prove that you are spineless and didn't show your face, but rather sneaked in like a piece of chicken shit? YES. Do I hate you even more then ever? ABSOLUTELY! You should have sat down to eat some food, enjoyed a bit of conversation before did what you did. But you probably lost all sense of taste with so much evil floating around in your body. And you probably didn't have any friends. So seems to me you are the loser. Because we still have our memories. The good ones, and you well I don't even know if you are alive. I hope you aren't because I would really like to feed your organs to an alligator.

Illness = weight loss: Sure I am happy that I have never gotten pneumonia, worms or thyroid. But dude, Kelly Osbourne cannot seriously have lost 7 kgs in just three weeks. That's insane. It took me 1 month to lose 3 kgs and I struggled. But she says it was the thyroid..so am I contemplating developing Thyroid somehow? sure I am. But then I won't push it. I will do it the right way. But that still doesn't explain how she got so skinny. If she can do it I can so totally do it too. But not the way I ate this weekend. So I went back home for the long weekend, but I consumed three times what I would consume on a normal weekend..thyroid are you listening? Okay just joking..(NOT)

John the DICK: Yes I used some sort of profanity. Shriek or gasp in horror but it's true. John Mayer is a dick. Sure he sounds good and I would love to make love to his voice, but he is such a male chauvinist pig not to mention a racist pig. So he the Dick, John, calls his well, Dick (penis) a white supremacist..really now you dick..did you have to put your privates in the public in such a racially charged comment..that too in Playboy? Yes so we understand that you love your beach blonde babes, some athletic and svelte like Jenni A and others that are well endowed in all the right places like Jess S, but did you really have to say the things you said. Well, the first amendment allows you to. I don't think Beyonce or Rihanna are ever going to look your way after that one. And oh yeah. I still think you are a dick. No harm there.

BSB, here I Come?: For those of you who know me, you would probably know that I am the biggest *Nsync fan ever..like ever ever..been to 3 concerts, waited in line at midnight for their albums and have even color coordinated myself to match them...Well, never thought this day would come, but I am going for a BSB concert. Yes, thats Backstreet Boys..They were my sworn enemies..I mean they are my sworn enemies..but I cant help it if I know all the lyrics to all their songs, own all their CDs...it happens right...keep your friends close but you enemies closer...that's the way I see it..Anyways this week was full of sleepless nights...I can't help but thinking I am betraying *Nsync..but then I realized I am getting free tickets and not really making much of an effort to go..right on...It's all good again..::phew::


Valentines Day what?: Who cares that I didn't get any flowers, chocolate or jewelry. I got all the cheesy, mushy chick flicks you could ever think of. It was a day of bliss. A huge serving of my favorite ice-cream, chocolate pancakes, strawberry waffles, chick flicks back to back, my humongous king side bed and my favorite Winnie the pooh. It was bliss that can be compared to no other. I love Valentines Day, probably not for the same reasons you or the rest of the world does though.

Quite a strange week. Filled with music, horror and food. Eh..nothing out of the ordinary right.