For your Entertainment

Yes. I'm here. Use me. Abuse me. Do whatever you want to me. After all at the end of the day you are going to be screaming my name and that is my ultimate goal. Seriously.

I can't take compliments of any sort. I react in one of two ways if you so much as mutter phrases that resembles a compliment. You say, "wow you look nice today". Simple enough right. No biggie. NO WAY! My self obsessed over conscious self goes into overdrive and I do not know how to react. So I either super coolly say "Yeah I know right" or "No I don't. Don't just say things to make conversation". So either way I am the bad guy. I am either proud or mean. Hmm.. Which is better? Who cares really. I am here for your entertainment.

Okay okay..so maybe it wasn't really my thing. This for your whole entertainment thing. It's Adam Lambert's thing. He shoves his crotch into his guitarists face on international television and is sent to entertainment hall of fame for it...nice..but I don't know if I can handle the whole entertaining the world thing...

I mean I can barely handle the entertaining my man thing..or entertaining my friends thing..it's tough being entertaining.

But life has taught me much about myself. Apparently I don't have to try hard to be entertaining. I seem to ooze it without trying. Funny right.

I try to make my Facebook status messages extra entertaining. At times funny. At times depressing. And most of the times my feelings exactly. But Facebook really does allow me to be the super duper entertainer that I am. To understand what I mean..Let me tell you something about entertainers...they thrive on attention..and I love it to..no matter how many times I deny the compliment or reverse it..keep them coming.

This is the ugly duckling in me speaking. The one who never got the boy she wanted but has him now and to keep him goes through extreme lengths to keep it that way. I don't want to go back to that same place. Being the insignificant Indian girl. I like being the Born in India, raised in America, but living in India kinda girl. It's fun. And you seem to find it entertaining.

You are entertained as soon as I open my mouth. The way I speak, with my extra enunciated English with a twinge of American twang. You dig it totally. If you didn't you wouldn't take the pains to point out the way I say certain things each and every time.

Today I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "single" to "in a relationship". Those of my Facebook friends who I choose to talk to beyond Facebook already know that about me..but those of my FB friends who I restrict to the confines of face-book-dom....well they needed to know. Not because it's vital information that will save their pathetic lives from further drowning into patheticness, but because I needed acknowledgment. I needed some people to know my relationship status more then others. Just.

But seriously speaking I got an immediate reaction. In fact, 5 seconds after I made the post, people started commenting. I mean I am their very own Adam Lambert. It's good in a way right. Now everyone knows I have a significant other. A special friend. I just didn't mention who. I didn't have to. Just the fact that I am in a relationship is entertaining enough.

Wow. I am in a relationship. Just struck me that I said that. It sounds different when you keep saying it over and over in your head. Or when you keep writing that you are in relationship over and over again. I am in a relationship. I am in a relationship. I am in a relationship. Sorry for the randomness. Just had to make sure I was actually writing it. See I write the way I think. So it's not just in my head. It's true.

Okay now that I have gotten that off my more than ample and well endowed chest. Lets move on. After all I am here for your entertainment.

So I am your entertainer and Facebook is my vehicle for entertaining you. That is just until I can get my claim to fame through more legitimate modes. ::cough cough:: American Idol, MTV, Gossip Girl..yeah until those come knocking on my door can't really do much.

So I'm funny. I can hold some decent conversation now and then. And yes I look good. But here is how that works. There is a formula to everything. I wasn't born like this. The funny part is mostly because people's idea of what is funny is somewhat demented now a days. Humour is found in me falling, tripping, running into walls or my buttons popping. Yeah go figure. No wonder I am so hilarious. I am the biggest klutz on the planet.

The decent conversation part. Well that's not really true. Most of the time you won't even understand what I am talking about. Because I find interest in things that otherwise "smart" or "dumb" people don't. I think since I am in between these two types, I find some sort of connect. That's all. No brain surgery here.

Oh and now the best part. The looking good part. Yes so I have "sharp features", when in reality I have an extra long pointy nose. Guess the creator knew I was going to be a liar like Pinocchio. the rest of the good looks? Well let me break it down further.

The curves? Where do they come from? Well you can thank 24 years of solid eating with average to minimal exercise.

The lustrous hair? You can thank 13 years of near baldness thanks to overbearing parents who tried to make me the son they never had.

The high cheekbones? Non existent.

The clear skin? Non existent.

The beautiful eyes? The best brands of Kohl on the planet. Only enhancers of course.

The rest. Well it's all natural.

Who knew my life long dream of being a superstar would come true...okay maybe not..but who says a girl can't believe..I'm sure Leighton Meester wasn't born knowing she would be THE Blair Waldorf...

Susan Boyle definitely didn't think Simon Cowell would fall at her feet in praise, but what a voice right?

Who knew Stephani would become Gaga extraordinaire and have millions of people talking about her fashion choices, her love choices, her musical choices and even her gender choices?

No one knew. And then Bam they emerged without a warning.

So that's it. An exclusive sneak peek behind the fabulous life of ShagDaIntern. A sneak peek into the glamour. The glitz. The entertainment. I am always open to suggestions about how I can improve my entertaining qualities. Keep them coming. Till then I am here for your entertainment.