Putting an end to the *itch

I must admit. I am a *itch with a capital B.

Having said that I don't think I was born this way. There are people and incidents to blame who have helped me get this far along in *itchdome.

I don't want to sound like the Meredith Brooks song 'I'm a Bitch' but yes I most of those nouns that she mentions. Anyways getting to the point, if you haven't realized already, I'm pissed. Believe me, the *itch in me only comes out when someone provokes it.

So for the past couple of months, I've been minding my own business, and doing my own thing. I have been relatively nice, not snapping, not back biting, nothing. Then the *itch in me came out. The *itch in me can't ignore these provokers in me anymore.

Here is a little run down on the things that have been pissing me off the most lately (in no particular order):

1. I walk into a Jimmy Choo store and the only thing I walked out with was a catalogue. On the bright side, I guess its okay, because with the money I didn't spend, I could have fed an entire village and then some.

2. The Commonwealth Games insist on happening in India, even though everything seems to be falling down, literally.

3. This douchebag I know thinks that being a douchebag is cool not to mention 'haute'. What the douchebag doesn't realize is that no body likes douchebags.

4. Petrol prices in India have been hiked and so have auto fares (fair). Auto rickshaw drivers expect you to feel sad for them even though they have more expensive phones than you (unfair)

5. 'Dabaang' has made Salman Khan haters suddenly love him. I'm glad his movie has done well, but I hate that haters are chasing in on his success. In the future, let's not judge a movie by the actors personal life for a change. If your going to watch a thoughtless but clever film, I suggest you leave your brain and Wikipedia knowledge at home.

6. Despite erasing people from my life, not to mention from my social network pages, they come back to haunt me with their dumb "musings" and observations. I've said this before. If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all.

7. I went back to the gym after a 3 month break and gained no weight (yay)...But...after two days at the gym, I gained one kg! (yuck) I'm hoping it was all that water I drank to compensate for how tired I was.

8. No matter how lose or unrevealing my clothes are, the man standing in front of me insists on taking a quick peek. (Like I didn't notice you Schmuck!)

9. I suddenly went social happy, tried loving everyone, only to get grumpy and in the mood to be alone.

10. 25 years of my life are practically up (1/3 of my life!) and I barely have any interesting stories to tell my grandchildren.


I know I love to complain, but my intention is never to hurt any one particular person. If I do it's probably because they are out to ruin the world or something. Since the *itch in me is still around, I'll do what I do to get rid of anything. I don't drink my miseries away, I don't drown myself in my own tears. I could eat my heart out, but I'd rather do what any self respecting whiner would do. I'll listen to someone else talk, rather sing about how much they dislike something or someone else.


Since I complained about 10 things, here are my top 10 "Be a *itch and get rid of her" songs

1. 'Ain't a Part of Me'- Chris Cornell ft. Timbaland (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OgwDVaCiSw)
2. 'Positively 4th Street"- Bob Dylan (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOP6R3JvNHg)
3. "Obsessed"- Mariah Carey (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1Yt0xJKDY8&ob=av2e)
4. "Gives You Hell"- All American Rejects (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxUATkpMQ8A&ob=av3e)
5. "You Oughta Know"- Alanis Morrisette (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPcyTyilmYY&ob=av2e)
6. "Sh*tlist"- L7 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjKgiTzLPMs)
7. "FU"- Cee Lo (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pc0mxOXbWIU)
8. "Love Me or Hate Me'- Lady Sovereign (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OMTB8YwILY)
9. "Cooler Than Me"- Mike Posner (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7S_H1KDjW9Y&ob=av2n)
10. "Hit em' Up"- Tupac (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4HjsZqOaQ0)
    

I wish someone would write a book on how to avoid being a *itch or even how to stop being one when you are. Unfortunately looks like I'm going to have to pen that one.

Now. For those other itchy *itchy people out there besides me. Skip it. Just listen to some of these tracks and move on. Indulge the *itch once in a while, but don't let it take over. Ignore those people who would love to see the *itch in you. Save the *itch in you for the really serious moments in life. Like when your husband leaves you for a younger woman or when you get fired from a company you started (joking).

Take it from the *itch herself.



Note to self: There is a thin line between a perpetual whiner and a *itch. RESIST!