I am Woman..

Hear me roar....roooooooarr

Or should I howl because I am a she wolf... Aooooouuuuuuu..

Whatever it is...before God or whatever supreme power made me a student...an observer...a bitch...a whiner..

...before he made me a douche bag...a carnivore or music lover...he made me a WOMAN..

So today on March 8th, 2010..who am I to change the fact that it is International women's Day?Until the day comes when men and women have equal rights I will be celebrating this greeting card holiday in full force and with full gusto..

I love women..smart women..fat women..bond women and blond women...skinny women...bootylicious women...women of substance and women who have indulged in substances.

Women of all sizes...of all races..of all mentalities and deformities..

So in order to actually earn a day where the entire world celebrates us, we have to live up to the standards of women that came before us, paved the way for us and those women who continue to do so.

Hats off to Kathryn Bigelow for being the first woman to win an Academy Award for Best Director. You truly are an inspiration and I am hoping that more women create such history. Ultimately the goal should be to be happy that good talent has won and not only a talented woman. Maybe, perhaps one day we will be able to get to that point.

Till then don't hold it against me that I like to appreciate women.

On this occasion I would also like to put women in their place. While society has allowed you to practice the oldest profession in the world, don't go wrecking people's homes. Make your living but do it honestly without greed or manipulative intentions. Don't let the word Bitch only apply to women. Show men that you are more than just boobs, vaginas and drama.

Until we give men a reason to respect us, we can't really go looking for it. Forget men, women kind also won't respect you.

Don't put up with a man for the sake of putting up. Be strong and confident like a L'oreal girl. Because you are worth it. You don't need me or any greeting card to tell you that. You know you're own worth.

As a woman, you must acknowldege these two facts: a) You have been wronged b) You have
gotten away with a lot of ISH

Now having said that..you can't ignore that you do have it better in a lot of ways...here's what I mean:

1. When you don't have a man to full fill your needs, you have a vibrator...men have blow up dolls..we are so much cooler..

2. We don't have to be gay to hug our friends regularly..men don't get the same privileges..

3. We can wear men's clothing and still look gorgeous..but your boy friend in your underwear will look just plain pathetic

4. Orgasms speak a lot about us..whether we fake them or truly enjoy them..

5. I can admit to liking boy bands and knowing all the lyrics without being called "pansy"

6. We got off the Titanic first before it sank

7. Our mood swings can be blamed on PMS. If boys act cranky well they are just jerks.

8. We give birth. We make babies. We make homes.

I think the last one is the most perfect explanation of all. We are awesome. Let's earn Women's Day. After all the chances of having men thanking us everyday are slim to none. At least we can indulge ourselves one day. AT LEAST.

Not to all the men out there. You love us. It's okay to tell us once in a while. Put up with our need for attention. It will only benefit you. But please don't piss us off. We look much better smiling. Not when we are stopping ourselves from committing murder.

Beyond that. Enjoy your individuality.