Fat Girl with Skinny Jeans: The GM Diet

Fried Chicken. Fried chicken Fried Chicken. Deeeeep Fried Chicken.

This is all I could think about at approximately 8 pm last night. Of course I got my wish but the universe hates me so much that the guy gave me burnt-to-the crisp-chicken poppers and I wasn't in the mood to accept it like it was just Cajon cuisine. So I almost yelled at him on the phone and settled for eating the lentils and rice at home that my roomies so lovingly cooked. But I was still upset that I didn't get to eat some freakin fried chicken. Blame it on the chemical imbalances that so called woman hood brings. Anywho, so that was just last night and here I am on Day 1 of my GM diet. Guess I owe it to the guy who burned my chicken to get here. Now for those of you who don't know what the GM diet is, pat yourself on the back. You haven't Googled weight loss every single day of your internet filled years. On a serious note though it is a diet. Yes I am an internet diet freak (based on the number of internet searches I trigger). But that's where the buck stops. So I've tried the Lemon cleanse because Beyonce did it. I've tried the hunger diet because half the world does it, I've tried the SEE (not sea)-food diet and now it's time to try a diet that more or less incorporates all of those things. Before I get into my experience on Day 1, let me run you down on what the diet really is. Now I am assuming that if you are reading this then you know what the full form of GM is. The GENERAL MOTOR diet was actually created for the employees of General Motors, you know the giant car manufacturers. No I haven't quite my day job and switched into the automobile industry. I'm still shag da intern. But my incredible search engine skills led me to uncovering this diet. It supposedly helps you not only lose weight, but cleanse your system and helps improve your over all well being. JACK POT! Before you pass judgment, you are not me so you can't even begin to fathom what it means to lose weight. I am not promoting starvation, just as I am not promoting the slaying of animals for my gastronomical pleasure. I am simply exploring and trying to help my body feel better about it self. Take it from a fat girl.

Okay getting back to why I wanted to try this diet. The whole idea is you eat specific foods that help you burn more calories simply because your body uses more calories to digest them. It's a seven day thing and every day you follow a different guideline.

This is what the guinea pig (in this case me) has to stick to:

Day 1: Hog on all the fruits you can except the calorie ridden Banana

Day 2: Shove all the veggies you have never eaten in your life and make up for lost time. Start your morning by eating the biggest potato you can find (boiled)

Day 3: Eat all the fruits and veggies your stomach can take through out the day and as many as you can to keep you from fainting and grabbing the nearest Zebra to devour. Oh but you still can't eat bananas and no potatoes either.

Day 4: So all those days that you have been told to not eat bananas on this diet come to an end today. Today you only eat bananas and drink milk. I hope it tastes better then it sounds.

Day 5: Technically you are supposed to eat beef and tomatoes today. But since the thought of a dead cow in my stomach makes me want to hurl on the poor guy sitting next to me, I'll skip on the beef and eat some brown rice instead. Day 6: You're supposed to eat all the beef and veggies you can handle but I think I will stick to veggies and lentils. Day 7: Today its all about the brown rice, veggies and fruit juices. Doesn't sound so bad. Now let me remind you again I am only on the first day of this thing. It's about 5 in the afternoon and I'm doing pretty good so far. I've eaten 2 apples, 2 oranges, 2 plums and 1 pear. By the end of the day I should chow down on 1 more apple, 1 more orange, 1 more pear and a bowl full of watermelon. Now I barely have the time to blog on normal days and this week is no exception. However because I want to finish this diet without failing, I am going to seal the deal on the internet. So I started today and I should have a blog by next Monday to document the success/failure of this whole adventure. That makes the blog world my witness. The best thing about this diet is that you are supposed to eat as much as you want and if you're feeling hungry, you're doing it wrong. That makes me feel a whole lot better. Oh yeah I'm supposed to drink litres and litres of water and abstain from alcohol. I think this will be a cinch. On that notes, wish me good luck and no Zebra cravings!

Just Lose It

ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh...

No not like Eminem says..This is so not about losing my mind..losing one's mind is relatively easy when compared to what me and millions of others around the world want to lose. If you still haven't figured it out yet, I am talking about the F word. FAT.

Yuck. It made you cringe didn't it. FAT FAT FAT FAT. Admit it. You despise fat. Whether you have it on your body or see it on people around you.

I mean literally speaking it is the most comfortable thing in the world. Its' squishy and soft. But face it. It's not your best friend. But some people (cough cough: ME) are so comfortable with their FAT. It's the only thing they have had their entire life. Something that is completely theirs. Of their own doing. And now you want to take it away from us. No that's not right. If anyone is taking my FAT away from me it's me. Not you or anyone else. FAT or not FAT.

So no matter how comfortable you are in your FATness, there is no excuse for being so. There is no excuse for being FATter than all your best friends. There is no excuse for being FATter than all your crushes who till this date you wonder why they didn't feel the same way about you. There is no excuse for weighing as much or just a little less than your boyfriend. There is no excuse for calling yourself healthy or voluptuous when in reality you are just FAT.

Sorry to be so harsh. Take it from a FAT girl. It ain't the best place to be. I need to get out of my comfortable place in the FATosphere. But I really don't know where else I want to be. FAT is what I have known my whole life. I have never met skinny. What if skinny doesn't like me?

Sure we all need FAT. It's an essential requirement for our functionality. But how much of it is too much? There are FAT calculators which tell you how much FAT is right to have for your age and height. Well I'm only 24 years old and yes I am FAT. That we already knew.

Since 2010 has started I have been on this whole trip about losing weight. It's gone to the extent that people have started calling me 'obsessed'. Yes. I am obsessed. The good thing about obsession in this case is that I am really working hard to get a hold of my obsession and turn this obsession into something I don't just lust after, but have.

Weight loss isn't easy. It's a lot of dedication and hard work. Yeah so there are those people who breathe air and lose weight. Then there are those people who don't even breathe air and just gain weight. I am part of the second group of people. The people who have been told that they are FAT their whole life. The group of people who are told to lose weight but not told how to lose weight. The people who are told that they are cute FAT, but FAT none-the-less.

So I have lasted like this 24 years of my life. Living on the idea that I am not fugly. That I have people that love me for me. I don't shop at the 'Big N Tall' yet. YET! No I can't afford to get there. I cannot get FATTter than this. No way. The FAT stops here.

It has for the past 2 months. I made a resolution and so far have stuck by it. Give or take a few candy bars, extra servings of rice, mid night ice cream cravings and the occasional KFC stops. ::Sigh::. Not eating is not an option. Never thought joining the gym would be either. But it has been one of my biggest aids. Yes you can quote me on that.

Okay so that's normal right. I go to the gym 5-6 days a week and spend an hour on average working on my fitness. I watch what I eat. Should be good enough right? Apparently not. I don't know what happens to me but I suddenly get the urge to burn even more calories. I am obsessed with my weight. Everyday I check the scale and if I have lost even a few grams I start rejoicing. But goodness forbid I gain even one gram I will do anything to burn them off. You name it I have tried. Pilates, Taebo, Yoga.

I have watched hundreds of you tube videos. I have surfed every website there is on weight loss. Even one called www.howcelebritiesloseweight.com. So I know what everyone from Anne Hathaway to Britney Spears do to lose weight. But the weirdest thing I came across was what Fergie does. She drinks vinegar shots. Yeah you read right. It apparently curbs your hunger and burns FAT. It sounds disgusting but it burns the F word. Haven't tried it yet but don't be surprised if sometime in the future I invite you to my house and offer you some vinegar shots. I'm just sayin....

There is no easy way to weight loss. It shouldn't be about how good you look. It matters but it isn't everything. It's about how it makes you feel. I totally look forward to waking up at seven every morning and starting my new found drive for good health.

It's not about being anorexic. Absolutely not. It's about not being obese. I don't think we realize just how serious being FAT is. More people die every year from obesity then anorexia. So help your FAT friends. Don't let them get to obese. Let your loved ones be healthy without not eating or throwing up whatever they eat. There is a way for all of us. Believe the once-upon-a-time-non believer. Don't aim for the size zero. Or size 2 or 4 for that matter. Aim at being healthy. Aim at loving your healthy body and self. It sounds so disgustingly sweet and fake doesn't it. Well it's not. It's acceptance. Accept that you are not supposed to be over weight. Also accept that you might never be a size 2. Acceptance is what we all need. Not defeat or lack of will power.

The verdict? So 2 months of dieting, watching what I eat, researching, gymming, yoga-ing, burning, eating and obsessing later I am a whole 6 kgs lighter. That's about 13.5 pounds. I'm getting there. Still hoping to lose ten more kgs. Not impossible right? Totally right.

So to all those people who knew I would, who thought I would never, thought I didn't need to, think I need to. Well I am. So that's that.

Til I completely lose it there are more articles to read, more exercises and wacky diet tips to try, more people to get inspired by. The idea is to lose, not gain in the process. So far so good.

I'll be sad. I might not even recognize myself after this. It will take getting used to. There will be tears and beads of sweat along the way. I will miss some clothes and fit in new ones. It's hard. But. Just lose it.

PS- And while your contemplating doing it or helping someone do it. Drop by this site and smile. It totally made me smile. Some of the things that FAT girls have to say is hilarious and totally inspiring...

Here's to not using the F word anymore.

http://www.formerfatgirl.com/